ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
