This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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