My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
