watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
