My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
