Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
