then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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