I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
