David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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