So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Enjoy the penises
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
