He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
