Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
