who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
