He disabled his match.com account in front of me
only if we run a train.
done.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize