You're completely useless in the revolution.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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