Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
