he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
