If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
where are my eyebrows?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize