Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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