there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
