weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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