Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Princesses don't give blow jobs
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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