booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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