What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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