stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
