I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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