He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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