yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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