No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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