Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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