My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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