I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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