Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
