I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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