so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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