When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
