I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
