You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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