I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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