new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
