Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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