I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
