would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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