I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
