Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
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Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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