I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
