I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
