thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
