This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
