whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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