Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
