Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
