fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
