Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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