Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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