She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
