yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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