HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
